Enough Already!

Would you believe me it I told you my kids were sick again?!
Believe it.
It's so frustrating.
I disinfect, I clean. They eat healthy, well-balanced meals, drink lots of milk and water, get good amounts of sleep. We take our Vitamins, Fish Oil and a daily dose of probiotics. We avoid the sick kids.
I am SO OVER winter. This winter will go down in history as the one of the hardest.
I think that maybe we keep getting sick because there is double the exposure to germs. Once one of the boys get sick, the other is guaranteed to get it.

My sister and I were running errands with the kids in tow, and Nathaniel kept coughing and coughing. I noticed that he felt really warm, so when we returned home I took his temp. 104.7...rectally.
Poor kid. One trip to the doctor's office 30 minutes later and we were informed that while his lungs sounded clear, he was working very hard to breathe due to a very enlarged right tonsil. So enlarged, that it left him with a tiny airway and the doctor contemplated sending us to the hospital for a dose of steroids to shrink it.
I decided against the hospital since, of course, Nat was running around the clinic room giggling and laughing. He was having THAT hard of a time breathing. The demeanor of my children never helps me determine how sick they are.

I chose to return home with a prescription for some antibiotics. We figured that he would be spending the night in the pack-n-play next to our bed so I could keep an ear open for his breathing.
Go figure that five minutes after I drift off to sleep, I can't hear him breathing, and not because he has stopped, it just got really quiet.
Change of plans. He is crashing with mom tonight, so that I can make sure he continues to inhale and exhale throughout the night.
It's four days later and now Nathaniel is on the mend, and Gabe is struggling through the day.
Will it ever end? I am hoping that this is strengthening their immune systems and that next year will be better.

Update: Not even 20 minutes after I posted this entry did Gabe wake up screaming with a temp of 105.6. Keeping in mind that I had put him to bed an hour and a half earlier with a dose of ibuprofen to bring down his, then temp, of 103. We headed off to the ER (seeing as it was 9 at night, so our clinic was closed). Three hours later we returned home with a diagnosis of a respiratory virus and our very first ear infection.

Maybe its the warmer temps outside. It could be that my formerly sick kids are sleeping better, so now mama is sleeping better. Perhaps it was a full weekend of spending quality time as a family.
Whatever it is... I love it. I am feeling refreshed and excited about life again.
I am counting the days until I see green buds on the trees.

We had been itching to get outside. The above freezing temps allowed us to head outdoors and explore our surroundings. We made our very first snowman together.
Gabe didn't seem to care too much for it, and spent most of his time either crying or attempting to climb our legs.

Nat loved it. He giggled when we through the snow up into the air. Took bites out of the snow balls that we made for him. He didn't even make a fuss when he fell face first into the snow when we took a trip in the sled around the yard.
They fell in love with their first taste of "hot cocoa". Our version of it was warm milk with about a teaspoon of the chocolate mix.

On Sunday we ventured up to the Zoo. It was such an amazing sight to see their reactions to all of the animals.
Our boys, even though they are twins, have been so different from one another since the day they were born.
Nat was so outwardly vocal about his joy in watching the dolphin show. He clapped, and waved and laughed. His eyes sparkled and he bounced with excitement.
Gabe just watched intently. His mouth open wide. I could see his little brain working and trying to figure out what it was that he was seeing. He has always been the "thinker", the "explorer." Occasionally I would see a small grin cross his face.
They both enjoyed themselves, but they do it in their own way, with their own style.

It is one of my very favorite things about having twins. I love seeing how their unique personalities come out in every little thing they do. From their sleeping patterns to the way they react to a new environment.
They are constantly changing. One month Gabe will be my shy-guy and Nat will be outgoing and assertive, the next month they've done a 180. They love to keep me on my toes.

We are looking forward to an upcoming weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. It's been a month since we saw them last and I know that the boys have changed a ton.

A Whole Lot of Love

I saw the love of my life for the very first time on a Saturday night. I was standing with a group of other freshman at a get-to-know-you campfire on the day I moved in to the dorms at college. I spotted him across the fire with a big group of guys. For a moment, time stood still. Unfortunately,as hard as I tried to will him to look at me, the look wasn't reciprocated. He never even turned my way. From that point on I couldn't get him out of my mind. There was "something" about him that drew me to him.
I was ecstatic when he turned up in my library tour group the next day. I convinced myself that he was staring at me while the librarian was going over how to locate items in the library. It later turns out that he had still not noticed me. More than likely, he now tells me, was that he was "spaced out" in my direction.
We finally met on the third day of college.
He was slick. A charmer. A flirt. He did the greatest impressions, and told the funniest jokes.
I tried to play it cool. Pretend I wasn't interested in him. It seemed to work a little too well. He paid me no attention. In fact, he barely talked to me when we were together with others. My heart was crushed.
Fast forward a week. Word got out that I was interested in him and word got out that he was interested in me. Gasp! This cocky, cool guy who I was convinced had never noticed me, actually liked me. So much, in fact, that he was too nervous around me to talk.
One night, our friends made up an excuse to all quickly leave while we were hanging outside in the courtyard. The two of us were left alone. Not wanting to say goodbye and end our night so soon, we decided to take a walk. The walk lasted 7 hours and ended at 4 am the next morning.
We talked about everything: our family, our homes, where we lived, past relationships, interests, beliefs, we shared stories, adventures, and life plans.
I had never met someone that I felt so comfortable with.
I fell hard. Within weeks we both knew that we were meant to share out lives together.

That was almost 13 years ago. This summer we will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary.
Every day I fall more and more in love. He still makes me laugh like I did on the night of our very first walk. I still get butterflies when he walks in the door after returning home from work.

When I look at our family, at our two little boys, I remember back to all those dreams we created together when we were young.

This is better than we could have ever imagined.

If I could wish something for my children. It would be to find a love as amazing as the love that I share for their father.
This love is magic.

To my One and Only on this "Day of Love." I know we don't need a special day to say it, because we say it and try to live it everyday, but here it is just because. I love you to the moon and back. Forever and always.

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
-Winnie the Pooh

Hump Day

There's nothing quite like watching Grandpa Doug and Daddy shovel the driveway!

Nat's hair fresh from an afternoon nap. This takes talent people.

Mr. Gabe still looking a little under the weather.

Sick of it

This winter has surely done a number on this family.
Stomach flu, colds, colds, and more colds, croup, and now...pneumonia.

I decided to bring the boys to Urgent Care on Friday night because I just didn't feel right about the length of time they had been sick. They checked out fine on Monday, except for Croup, but they had become very lethargic and their normally huge appetite had decreased to almost nothing. Nat started running a fever, and I was pretty sure that I could hear a rattling in Gabe's chest.
Off I went to the clinic with Grandpa assisting with the job, since their daddy was working.
I sat in the waiting room, feeling like a total tool, while my kids climbed chairs, said "Hi!" to everyone that entered, and pretty much looked like completely healthy kids.
We did the usual- met with the nurse, and doctor. They listened to the boys breathing and took their oxygen levels. Then they sent me off with them for chest X-rays because their chests sounded congested and their oxygen levels were low. While I wrested with one kid to get X-rays taken, Grandpa was nebulizing the other. The X-rays showed that both of my little men had pneumonia.

As luck would have it, not only were my kiddos sick, I got sick too. It was some crummy virus that gave me the "hit by a bus" aches and pains, and stomach upset. I had to suck it up and wear my "mommy hat" Friday night until Joel got home.
He wins the Daddy of the Year award for this weekend. He actually deserves it everyday. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my kids. I have attempted to sleep the illness away, accompanied with popping ibuprofen, drinking tea, and soaking in hot tubs. He fed, diapered, medicated, and took care of night wakings for our two sick boys. He'll head off to work tomorrow, work 8 shifts in 5 days, and still be as completely present in our children's lives as you can be. Loving them to bits and pieces, reading, snuggling, and pretty much adoring them to death.
In short, my husband rocks.
My sleeping seems to have restored me to 80%, which I'll take.
I can see little bits of my healthy boys returning.
Gabe is talking up a storm, and Nat is climbing and dancing on chairs.
I'm hoping that tonight's rest will fully restore us so that we can have a fun-filled week of exploring and learning.

Oh, Croup!

You've been sick for forever.
Yep, just checked the calendar and it's been a long, long time.
The end of the flu brought with it a nasty cold-type virus.
It's a bugger. We've all had it. Auntie, cousin, Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy, Mama and both of you.
Unfortunately, poor Gabe's turned into Croup. Poor little guy.
You just keep coughing and hacking, as does Nat, but you start crying and whimpering from the pain in your chest.
Your doctor's not concerned. Your lungs both sound okay. This virus going around is just really long winded.
I'm looking forward to getting things accomplished again when you are both feeling better. I can't wait until we get back into some sort of routine.

Don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed all the snuggles that being sick brings with it.
What I haven't enjoyed are the snotty noses being wiped on my shoulders.
Seriously. You both have the worst timing. I go to wipe your nose and you quickly dart and turn your head away, and end up smearing your drippy nose across my previously clean shirt.
Your coughs keep waking you both up at night, and you need me to give you sips of water, find your pacifier and tuck you back in. Half-way through the night I have given up on sleeping with daddy in our bed. I bunk with you two on the full-size bed in your room. Inevitably, you are both asleep next to me in the morning.
Your naps have been all off. I'll get 15 minutes here or there out of you. Not together though. No, no. That would be far too easy!
This is the first time in a week that you have both been asleep in your cribs at the same time. We'll see how much longer it will last. I've gotten 15 minutes of solitude so far.

Cue the cries.

I miss my healthy boys. The ones that run around and play with blocks and cars, and ask to turn the light switches on and off 30 times before mama gets annoyed.

For real now. I hear one of you crying.

I'll continue tonight, I guess.
.
.
.
.
After lots of rocking and cuddles you are finally asleep for the night.

I've got a doctors appointment tomorrow. Just the annual check-up. Only this time I need to get a prescription for birth control.
Weird.
Birth control.
I thought I would never need that stuff again.
It's possible that I don't. My fertility doctors told me that after pregnancy my "issues" could be fixed.
We aren't willing to risk finding out if they are fixed.
We've got frozen embabies. Brothers or sisters waiting to make you two big brothers.

Sometimes I get the baby itch. If it were less complicated and didn't cost thousands of dollars I might seriously consider it... might.

But not now. I feel guilty enough as it is trying to split my time and cuddles between the two of you. I can't imagine a new one quite yet.
Give me time.
Maybe a year, maybe two.
For now I will enjoy my 2 little boys.