Apples to Oranges

Pregnancy #2, Baby #3

Here it is 17 weeks in, and I have barely said anything about how this pregnancy is going.

I managed to survive the first trimester. Some women may take that mean surviving the constant nausea and fatigue. Others may take it to mean that I managed to make it to the other side and still remain pregnant.

I mean both.

It seems that if you have ever struggled to get pregnant, struggled to stay pregnant, or have personally known anyone close to you who has done one or the other, that you take to heart the miracle that pregnancy truly is.

I spotted throughout the first trimester, something that had not happened to me while I was pregnant with the boys. It scared me and even through I was reassured by my doctor and the heartbeat on the doppler, I still found myself constantly thinking "If we have this baby..." rather than "When we have this baby..."

My nerves are easing up as I move closer and closer to 24 weeks, the age of viability. I have started feeling the comforting kicks and hiccups, the constant little reminders that there is life inside me. My morning sickness is completely gone, and for the most part my energy is back.

This pregnancy is progressing rather quickly, and so far it's been much easier than my last. But how can you even compare being pregnant with one baby to being pregnant with two? At this point, with the boys, I was measuring 26 weeks and suffering from major back pain, heartburn, and insomnia. This go around I am gaining weight slower and my belly is probably measuring right where it should be for one baby. I can still fit into my regular pants and button them, although I am a bigger fan of the elastic wasted maternity pants. Heck, I would wear them when I wasn't pregnant. I am reminding myself to appreciate the ability to look at my feet, and bend over easily, because soon enough that won't be happening.

I would love to report that Gabe and Nat are embracing this "Mama is having a baby and we are going to be big brothers thing" but quite frankly they don't have a clue how much their world will be changing come May.

Pregnancy Stats Mostly for my own benefit, but also for those curious minds.

How far along: 17 weeks

Cravings: Fruit, fruit and more fruit. Also, the occasional crunchy salad (romaine, rather than spring greens) and last week was Breyer's Natural Vanilla ice cream with Reese's shell topping (I ate a bowl everyday)

Weight: +6 from pre-pregnancy

Best moments: Watching Charlie Brown's Christmas with the boys and feeling a full 3 minutes of hiccups from Baby

Belly button: Formerly an innie, but now an outie that has yet to pop. If that makes any sense

Aches and Pains: Round ligament pains, and Braxton Hicks a few times a day(early yet again!)

Gender Prediction: 80% of me thinks girl, 20% thinks boy.

Spontaneous

Shortly after returning home from the cabin I embarked on what was going to be my next "Big Adventure"- watching my dearest, closest friend's daughter while she went back to school to teach in the fall. It was a perfect idea. She gets the piece of mind of having her daughter cared for by her best friend, and her best friend gets a little extra income. Two kids under that age of 2 is a lot of work, and 3 kids under the age of 2 is even more. But, I was ready and excited to have an extra playmate for the boys. Lulu is a doll, a mere 4 1/2 months younger than the boys, and a true joy to have around. I love getting so spend time with her. It is a perfect fit

The first week went great, I was exhausted by the end of the day, but that's to be expected when you chase 3 kids around all day, right?

Wrong. Well, sort of.

You see, I wasn't just exhausted from chasing three kids around. There was another reason lurking behind the exhaustion, and I found out what it was the next week.

I went grocery shopping with the boys one night. I passed the meat section and got dry heaves. Two aisle later I was completely nauseated, and that's when the possibility of pregnancy struck me.

No, I thought at first. We're infertile. I know we were told that fertility could be restored after the pregnancy, but that was a small chance. Plus we were being cautious, and to be quite honest, I wasn't sure that there was even an opportunity for us to get pregnant the previous month.

I had started spotting, but my period was 4 days late, so I caved and bought a test.

The boys were taking a bath when I took the test. I set it on the counter and thought to myself "I can't believe I wasted 8 bucks on this thing, there is no way that I am pregnant."

As soon as I finished my thought I looked down at the test to see the moisture wash over the test strip.

Two very dark lines. A positive pregnancy test.

A four letter word might have escaped my lips. Gabe might have also repeated the four letter word in his adorable, little toddler voice.

That's right folks... I'm pregnant.

13 weeks pregnant.

We're still shocked.

This is our Next Big Adventure

For someone who struggled for 3 years to try and get pregnant, who ultimately required one of the most high tech ways to conceive, it still baffles me. Spontaneous conception is what my doctor wrote in my chart. When someone who previously required IVF to conceive, conceives on their own.

Natural Family Planning to the tee, with only one opportunity for conception that occurred way before I ever ovulate. The size of the baby shows that I managed to ovulate more than a week before I normally do, without any of my normal signs that accompany it.

Ultimately, this was not in our hands. The Lord wanted us to have this baby.

I wouldn't let myself believe it until I had my first Ob appointment at 8 weeks. She found the baby on the ultrasound right away, and I saw the little flicker of the heartbeat. The evening bloat is slowly turning into a morning baby bump.

Last week I had a 12 week appointment, and I got to hear the familiar whoosh-whoosh of the baby's heart. My doctor had the challenge of keeping it on doppler while it did gymnastics around my belly. I was told to be prepared for the kicks and flips this one will be doing, considering how active it was during that short time at my appointment.

I'm starting to get excited for our new arrival. I'm not nervous to have another baby. One newborn will be a piece of cake after caring for two at a time.

What I am nervous about is how I will care for a baby while running after my two little monkeys all day.

They are runners.

They are climbers, and they are good at getting into trouble.

They have also started arguing for my attention. "MY Mommy!!" is a frequent phrase often heard. Now they will feel the need to fight even more when the littlest one arrives.

It will all work out just like it is suppose to.

I suppose the most ironic thing in all of this is that I was just starting to resent the "fertile" population again. In fact, I have a post that I had recently written, but not posted, about how we were going to start saving for our next embryo transfer, so that in a year we could attempt a second pregnancy. Thousands of dollars, and a year of saving for an attempt.

Well, I suppose I'm not considered infertile anymore. It's nice to lose the title.

Yes, we still have our embryos.

Yes, we will still be giving them a chance at life sometime in the future.

The possibility of a huge family is a very scary thought.

But I think back to 4 years ago when we were in the midst of heartache and failed fertility treatments, and I remember how I ached to experience the love that a mother has for her babies.

That love is powerful and amazing. If I get to multiply it by 6 kids, then my world will be complete.

The Cabin

We returned from your second ever cabin trip last night.

The Cabin is a sacred place for your father. His childhood summers were filled with memories of this place; little boy antics, fishing, boating, campfires, family and friends. This place is a treasure for your family. Now that most of us are married and even have kids of our own, we return there. 3 brothers and 1 sister, 2 sisters-in law, a brother-in law, and 3 little ones occupy the bedrooms, futon, and porch for a week of fun and family.

I was apprehensive to make the journey this year, being that last year our trip Up North left me feeling stressed and crabby.
It was virgin territory for us a year ago. 2 parents embarking on our first ever vacation with a set of 10 month old twins. Our trip, pre-kids, used to consist of mornings that dragged into afternoons while we sipped on hot cups of coffee, lazy pontoon rides, fishing, afternoon naps, campfires, and rousing late-night board games accompanied with cocktails. Last year proved difficult to relax while nursing one baby, and attempting to nurse another who was deciding to self wean at the time. Trying to get you both to nap during the day, and sleep well at night was by far the most stressful.
I resolved that this year would go much better, you were older, and better sleepers, and best of all you loved sand and water, both of which are abundant at a lake.
We set off to the cabin on Wednesday and after 2 hours in the car I was starting to regret our decision to go. You were both antsy to get out of your car seats and run around. Gabriel started to tell us "All done car ride, all done!" Then we had tears and screaming.
My two wild and busy boys don't normally sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time. Daddy and I started to unload our bag of tricks. We had large container of toys and activities packed to distract you. Flash cards, toy trains, trucks, and balls. 10 rounds of BINGO, Happy Birthday to each and every one our family members, Old MacDonald, and The Alphabet Song were a nice, but brief distraction.
I'm sure that I could have popped open the lap top and played a Mister Rogers episode to quiet you, or handed you some battery operated toy but I cherish the simplicity of a family car trip without the use of modern day electronics. Even if it means listening to you crab at me for the remaining 3 hours on the road. I'd rather that you grow up chatting and singing, and playing "I Spy", and the license plate game with your parents during road trips verses sitting in the back seat of a mini-van staring at some cartoon movie playing in an overhead DVD player. Some of my favorite memories of growing up are those that were created while we three girls were "trapped" with your grandparents in the car during road trips around the country.
You both fell asleep when the sky darkened and awoke just as we arrived at our destination. You were greeted by Aunties and Uncles, and cousin "No-no" with enthusiasm. I was impressed that you went to bed so easily that night, albeit much much later than usual.
This year seemed to go off without a hitch. We had returned to the lake with experience under our belts.
Yes, you were crabby at times.
Okay, okay, you were crabby most of the time .
You crashed for your afternoon rest and for bedtime. In general, you were good boys.
Except for attacking your poor cousin on a few occasions. While you two seem to have your own hierarchy built in to your relationship (Nat, in general, being the leader, and Gabe asserting himself occasionally to keep things balanced) your cousin isn't built into the structure. Nat continued to lead the way, and instead of Gabe following as usual, he decided to lash out at poor "No-No" with attempted bites and a kick to the face during a diaper change.
Time outs didn't mean much when you appeared happy to take a break in your pack-n-play for 2 minutes. Scoldings from your Mama do nothing more than solicit a giggle and an impersonation of the yelling.
Our days were spent playing on the beach, and wearing your Auntie Katie out by catching 3 boisterous little boys as they jumped off the dock. You explored indoors and entertained yourselves with a rusty old wagon that was too fun to share, and many toys that your daddy and uncles played with as little boys.
We spent an evening meeting your Great Aunt and Great Uncle and your daddy's cousin. You ate cheesy bread and spent a good part of an hour racing up and down the ramp built for your Great Uncle's electric wheelchair.
On our last night we had the traditional fish fry. Everyone contributed by either catching, filleting, or cooking up the Perch and Rock Bass. My contribution was the quinoa salad. You ate up the fried deliciousness dipped in homemade tarter sauce. All you touched from the salad I made was the olives.
Sunday was the perfect day to head home. You had been out of your routine just long enough for it to start to impact you. The big crabbies were setting in. We tried to keep you occupied with some Yo-Gabba-Gabba and Baby Einstein so we could pack up and clean. By 11:30 we were all smashed into our car again heading South.
You surprised us with how well you both did on the trip home, especially considering that the traffic congestion added on an extra hour to an already 5 hour trip. Hearing that we were traveling back to a familiar place where you knew Grandma, Grandpa and Oliver would be helped the journey. That and stopping at a Dairy Queen to spoil you with some bites of a Blizzard.
I cherish the time that we get to spend with our family.
The late night games, chats, and laugh fests.
Your Uncles behaving like young boys who are high on life.
The way that your Aunties smother you with love.
I will remember how your first words when you woke so early in the morning were "All done night-night, Outside? Lake? Sandbox? and No-No?" In that order almost every day we were there.

You won't remember the memories we created this year, but I hope that someday the cabin will be a significant part of your lives.