Sunday, December 21, 2008

Praying for a Miracle

No one ever imagines that they will be this couple. The infertile couple isn’t typically thought to be the young and healthy man and woman in their twenties. I did say infertile couple. I know that I am the one that makes us infertile, and it hurts so deep inside to say that. To have the knowledge that I am the reason that we aren’t able to have kids.
On our wedding day we took our vows and we became one. We promised to remain together for better or worse, through sickness and health, and for richer or poorer. If there are any good things that have come out of this situation it has been how we have been brought closer together as a couple, and our faith in the Lord as been strengthened. I love Joel more than I ever have, and our marriage is so much stronger than I could ever have imagined it would be.
We are rock solid, there is nothing that could tear us apart. We could have easily given up on one another along this journey. There have been difficult times.There have been days that we are so broken inside that we can't seem to make small talk without bickering. There are times when my body is so completely full of artificial hormones that the tiniest thing will set me off. Instead of letting this tear us apart, we are learning and growing from it. We are supporting one another.
He is a fabulous nurse. He took care of me after my surgeries, bringing me tea and pain medicine, and adjusting my pillows. Joel rubs my belly when it is swollen and sore from all the shots. He comes to every appointment that I have. He puts his arms around me and lets me squeeze his hand when I am enduring painful procedures. Most importantly, he has cried with me and held me when each cycle has failed.Our limits have been tested, but it has only brought us closer together.
This blog will record our journey to becoming parents.
It is unorthodox to write about one’s journey to having a baby, but we are WAY past doing this the traditional way. We will be beginning IVF in an attempt to become parents. We have, quite literally, tried everything else. 7 doctors, 2 surgeries, almost daily visits for ultrasounds and blood tests, and daily self-injections have led us here. This is what remains. If we want biological children, then this is the path we must take.
Some may disagree with our decision, they may think it controversial and/or unnecessary. We are not looking for acceptance, we are looking for support.
Throughout our years of struggling we hoped, prayed and pleaded that the other treatments and surgeries would have worked. They should have, but they didn’t. We were aware that we might get to this point when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, but we figured we would be one of the couples that would get pregnant and never have to think about it. Most people in our situation get pregnant with the treatments that we have gone through. Most people never have to take this path. When I was hit with an additional diagnosis some months back, it only confirmed our decision to proceed with in-vitro. We have virtually no chance on our own, nor with the treatments we have already been through.
We are very excited to begin this part of our journey. It has been a long road, and we pray that this is the way to our child.
I will be able to record our experience and update our process to becoming parents here.
You can tag along with us as we navigate through this world of Advanced Reproductive Technology and everyday life. It can be an intense process, but I know that we will be able to handle it. We have such a strong support system. We are surrounded by the love and prayers of all our of family and friends.
Thank you all so much for remaining with us during this journey. We cannot tell you how much we appreciate your support during this time.