Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Shortly after returning home from the cabin I embarked on what was going to be my next "Big Adventure"- watching my dearest, closest friend's daughter while she went back to school to teach in the fall. It was a perfect idea. She gets the piece of mind of having her daughter cared for by her best friend, and her best friend gets a little extra income. Two kids under that age of 2 is a lot of work, and 3 kids under the age of 2 is even more. But, I was ready and excited to have an extra playmate for the boys. Lulu is a doll, a mere 4 1/2 months younger than the boys, and a true joy to have around. I love getting so spend time with her. It is a perfect fit
The first week went great, I was exhausted by the end of the day, but that's to be expected when you chase 3 kids around all day, right?

Wrong. Well, sort of.

You see, I wasn't just exhausted from chasing three kids around. There was another reason lurking behind the exhaustion, and I found out what it was the next week.
I went grocery shopping with the boys one night. I passed the meat section and got dry heaves. Two aisle later I was completely nauseated, and that's when the possibility of pregnancy struck me.

No, I thought at first. We're infertile. I know we were told that fertility could be restored after the pregnancy, but that was a small chance. Plus we were being cautious, and to be quite honest, I wasn't sure that there was even an opportunity for us to get pregnant the previous month.
I had started spotting, but my period was 4 days late, so I caved and bought a test.
The boys were taking a bath when I took the test. I set it on the counter and thought to myself "I can't believe I wasted 8 bucks on this thing, there is no way that I am pregnant."
As soon as I finished my thought I looked down at the test to see the moisture wash over the test strip.

Two very dark lines. A positive pregnancy test.
A four letter word might have escaped my lips. Gabe might have also repeated the four letter word in his adorable, little toddler voice.

That's right folks... I'm pregnant.
13 weeks pregnant.
We're still shocked.

This is our Next Big Adventure

For someone who struggled for 3 years to try and get pregnant, who ultimately required one of the most high tech ways to conceive, it still baffles me. Spontaneous conception is what my doctor wrote in my chart. When someone who previously required IVF to conceive, conceives on their own.

Natural Family Planning to the tee, with only one opportunity for conception that occurred way before I ever ovulate. The size of the baby shows that I managed to ovulate more than a week before I normally do, without any of my normal signs that accompany it.
Ultimately, this was not in our hands. The Lord wanted us to have this baby.

I wouldn't let myself believe it until I had my first Ob appointment at 8 weeks. She found the baby on the ultrasound right away, and I saw the little flicker of the heartbeat. The evening bloat is slowly turning into a morning baby bump.
Last week I had a 12 week appointment, and I got to hear the familiar whoosh-whoosh of the baby's heart. My doctor had the challenge of keeping it on doppler while it did gymnastics around my belly. I was told to be prepared for the kicks and flips this one will be doing, considering how active it was during that short time at my appointment.
I'm starting to get excited for our new arrival. I'm not nervous to have another baby. One newborn will be a piece of cake after caring for two at a time.
What I am nervous about is how I will care for a baby while running after my two little monkeys all day.
They are runners.
They are climbers, and they are good at getting into trouble.
They have also started arguing for my attention. "MY Mommy!!" is a frequent phrase often heard. Now they will feel the need to fight even more when the littlest one arrives.
It will all work out just like it is suppose to.

I suppose the most ironic thing in all of this is that I was just starting to resent the "fertile" population again. In fact, I have a post that I had recently written, but not posted, about how we were going to start saving for our next embryo transfer, so that in a year we could attempt a second pregnancy. Thousands of dollars, and a year of saving for an attempt.
Well, I suppose I'm not considered infertile anymore. It's nice to lose the title.

Yes, we still have our embryos.
Yes, we will still be giving them a chance at life sometime in the future.
The possibility of a huge family is a very scary thought.
But I think back to 4 years ago when we were in the midst of heartache and failed fertility treatments, and I remember how I ached to experience the love that a mother has for her babies.

That love is powerful and amazing. If I get to multiply it by 6 kids, then my world will be complete.