I think Joel and I had been most scared for today's appointment. At the last appointment we weren't sure what we were going to encounter. Now we have expectations, and two babies to be worried about. Sure I've been feeling sick, but "is it sick enough for twins?", or "did we lose one along the way?" My mind always goes to the worst possible scenario.
Well, no need for worries here. The babies are looking wonderful. They are measuring right in the range at 8 weeks, 5days, only one day shy of their actual age. We were able to see and hear their heartbeats. Those were the most wonderful little sounds I have ever heard. The heartbeats came in at 175, and 183 bpm.
We saw how their little arms and legs are developing and even got to see one of the babies squirming around. I am still in shock that all of this is happening in my body. I am so used to an u/s being used exclusively for measuring my endometrial lining and follicle sizes. It's amazing how just a few months later, using the same machine, I get to see my babies growing.
I think that the clinic switched the labels of Baby A and Baby B in the photos. She said it doesn't much matter right now, not until the placentas have established themselves do we really know which baby will be considered which. All that matters right now is that they look like they are developing on track, which they are.
The best part about our visit today was that it was back in our old clinic. The one we started out at and did most of our fertility treatments through.It was really sad for us when we weren't able to get pregnant with their help. They are such kind and caring physicians and nurses, and we always looked forward to the day that we could return with our good news. When I checked in I was surprised by how thick my medical file was, and that just reminded me of how far we have come.
The triage nurse came out to check and see who was scheduled for appointments that day. She saw my name, and that I was scheduled for an early OB appointment. She congratulated us and said that she had been thinking about me the other week, and wondered how I was doing. She passed on the news to the u/s tech, who announced my name with enthusiasm when I got called back. I got hugs and huge congrats from her. It made me tear up having all of these women care about us so much.
During my u/s, my midwife, who was my first fertility specialist popped in. She had just heard the news that we were back in the clinic, pregnant this time. She wanted to come in to congratulate us and the see the babies. She asked who I was going to use as an OB, I told her that she had been my first choice, but obviously wouldn't be able to do the delivery because of the twins. She then said that she wanted to be at the birth of the babies, which just about made me cry.
She will take the time out of her personal life to attend the birth of our babies just because she wants to be there to support us, because she has a connection with us. She guided us through the difficult times of infertility, we worked with her for 1 year and 7 months before we had no other choice but to move on. I am so happy with where I am. I feel so absolutely blessed to be here.
The Lord was looking out for us, and while the road of infertility was long and hard, and heartbreaking, I can honestly say that I wouldn't change it. We were meant to travel that road, and endure those hardships for a reason. Getting to see those babies on that screen and hearing their perfect heartbeats makes it all worthwhile. I won't ever forget what we went through to get here. It will forever leave a scar on my heart, but that scar will heal, it has healed, and it has somehow left my heart stronger.
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