Oh, Croup!

You've been sick for forever.
Yep, just checked the calendar and it's been a long, long time.
The end of the flu brought with it a nasty cold-type virus.
It's a bugger. We've all had it. Auntie, cousin, Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy, Mama and both of you.
Unfortunately, poor Gabe's turned into Croup. Poor little guy.
You just keep coughing and hacking, as does Nat, but you start crying and whimpering from the pain in your chest.
Your doctor's not concerned. Your lungs both sound okay. This virus going around is just really long winded.
I'm looking forward to getting things accomplished again when you are both feeling better. I can't wait until we get back into some sort of routine.

Don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed all the snuggles that being sick brings with it.
What I haven't enjoyed are the snotty noses being wiped on my shoulders.
Seriously. You both have the worst timing. I go to wipe your nose and you quickly dart and turn your head away, and end up smearing your drippy nose across my previously clean shirt.
Your coughs keep waking you both up at night, and you need me to give you sips of water, find your pacifier and tuck you back in. Half-way through the night I have given up on sleeping with daddy in our bed. I bunk with you two on the full-size bed in your room. Inevitably, you are both asleep next to me in the morning.
Your naps have been all off. I'll get 15 minutes here or there out of you. Not together though. No, no. That would be far too easy!
This is the first time in a week that you have both been asleep in your cribs at the same time. We'll see how much longer it will last. I've gotten 15 minutes of solitude so far.

Cue the cries.

I miss my healthy boys. The ones that run around and play with blocks and cars, and ask to turn the light switches on and off 30 times before mama gets annoyed.

For real now. I hear one of you crying.

I'll continue tonight, I guess.
.
.
.
.
After lots of rocking and cuddles you are finally asleep for the night.

I've got a doctors appointment tomorrow. Just the annual check-up. Only this time I need to get a prescription for birth control.
Weird.
Birth control.
I thought I would never need that stuff again.
It's possible that I don't. My fertility doctors told me that after pregnancy my "issues" could be fixed.
We aren't willing to risk finding out if they are fixed.
We've got frozen embabies. Brothers or sisters waiting to make you two big brothers.

Sometimes I get the baby itch. If it were less complicated and didn't cost thousands of dollars I might seriously consider it... might.

But not now. I feel guilty enough as it is trying to split my time and cuddles between the two of you. I can't imagine a new one quite yet.
Give me time.
Maybe a year, maybe two.
For now I will enjoy my 2 little boys.